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Tuesday, November 01, 2005 7:09 AM ;||*i need my painkillers to end everything*|| i have only two words for myself. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. wad else? i dun feel like living anymore. i nid my painkillers. enough to end everything even for 10mins. im not leading my own life rite now. someone gonna decide on my future n life, and that someone is my parents. ive lost the trust they gaf me. im sucha letdown to this family. i kept giving them problems afta problems. i hate the cold shoulder dad is giving me n i hate the tone mum's using on me. ive let my gerls down. they should be disappointed in me. ive no right to decide, ive no right to talk and ive no right to give advice. i suck at all dat! all im left with is dis puffy eyes n im disappointed in myself. you might not see the word that was carved on my forehead, only i can see and feel it. it's STUPID. ive to seek forgiveness from my parents and farhan. if can, i wanna bend at their feet and seek forgiveness. now i realise, im not strong anymore. and i cant live without farhan's love. i HATE myself bitch! leave me alone That's It For Today. Goodbye.
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