let's get some serious business going.

we'll talk about my outing yesterday, shall we?

i went out with my outside friends. mixture of boys and girls. we hit the town at 6.30pm, and dat place was so fucking pack-o.

walked around at far east plaza aimlessly while waiting for the rest to reach.

settled at cahaya for our dinner. hmm, i duntink it's for breaking our fast, bcos firstly, it's already 7.30pm, secondly..paham paham je lah. haha.. all the food places were dyem crowded. we had to wait for atleast 20mins to get our seats. and i ate steam chicken rice. eeww! gross..i should jus stick to mee hokkien next time..darn!

we walked all the way to heeren next. dun ask me why, probably bcos they wanted to stay around at HMV. yes..those guys get themselves another ear pierce. ishk! i wish i could get myself another ear pierce too yesterday, but to think back, three holes in one ear, wouldn't that be a lil too much? hehe..

$150 for one zippo?! u must be kidding me..

walked all the way to dhobby ghaut and hang out at Istana Park. things got a lil crazy dere..

ouh pause. i dun smoke okay..so tink positive. matreps and minahreps are humans afterall. is it a sin to friend with them?? they're a bunch of fun people..not those boring people where for half of the tyme, u jus stare at each other's nose.

by dat time, it was already 10.30pm. we chilled at dhobby ghaut mrt station for another 30minutes or so..perhaps for some cool environment. now this is the thing about me..i alwas get lost at dhobby ghaut mrt station. that mrt station is so freaking huge..beats me.

wad?? im sleepy. im not drunk. dats y i was swaying too much.

ouh, i saw the video hakim took about us. sooo nice. very stylish..

argh..im too not in the mood to blog. wad an entry! sucks my underpanties mann..

i got home at 12.30am. last train..phew!

and things are getting worse day by day. i seriously nid a break. i wanna haf time for myself. will u let me do dat??

yes u are so right. im out for revenge. i wanna take revenge on you. dat's the only thing i can do to make u hate me even more. but im wrong. things doesn't alwas go my way.

and i alwas say things i didn't mean.

i hope u can find somewhere in your heart to forgive me..

but the house was darn quiet. where's mom, dad n the two sistas? yes..they all went out, leaving me and sis alone at home. ouh, she sleeps like a log, so forget it, she'll probably be awake at 12noon? hopefully.

now im afraid to keep dat dream to myself. somebody told me that keeping a dream to urself will only make it true. really? den i gotta find someone fast to tell him/her about my dream. no. not mum eh. please. most probably, she'll lecture me. something like.."see! the world gonna kiamat pun tak tahu nak bertaubat." damn it! dats not an interesting way to end a conversation okayy mom.

aftarall, that's wad mom is all about. but the funny thing is, my parents doesn't really care about my dressing, except for mom who will get a lil crappy during the fasting month. but not dad. and..mom doesn't really care if i didn't come home but dad does. he thinks a girl shouldn't be staying outside all night. tak manis. okayla papa, u are so correct.

fucker. i fall asleep while waiting for the repeat telecast of The Oc at 2am. grr..! simple. becos i wasn't on the phone with anyone so blergh..i fall asleep. damn!

oh..im so proud of my adeq. hello! she made it to the pure science class. im so proud of her. and she's the top 25%. gracious! welcome back baby. everyone in the family adores you. ure smart, intelligent, the baby in the house. wadelse? except for the fact dat you haf this pathetic attitude wen ure angry.

make sure u dun forget me huh wen u get ur $250 for being in the top 25%. u owe me! ur maths, and so much so for scoring A1 for your art. who to thank? me! dumbass!

my neck is still aching. i dunnoe why. it's so pain for me to turn my head all the way to the right. and now my back. i tink im having a backache. double sheeesssh! isit bcos of my mattress? no. cant be. everything is so perfect, well i tink becos i did a lot of housework. right dad? so please spare me.

did i tell you? i isn't the type who loves chatting at msn. i tink chatting is rather boring wen u can actually ring up that person n blab everything. much easier. okay, exclude the fact that ure too shy to talk to that person on the phone maybe bcos u dunnoe that person or maybe bcos u haf a crush on dat person. in either way, it sounds ridiculous. to me.

jus out of curiosity, i signed up my msn again. yes..afta months of abandoning it. haha..and pop! wow..so many friends arh? must be kidding. and all i did yesterday was happily deleting all those contacts that sounded weird to me. still, i haf 113 friends more to go.

i nid new songs on my mp3. it's killing me. no My Chemical Romance please. adeq was listening to a song from that artist and i went crazy. punk rock? ewww..so not me. it's shaking the house okayy..that was why my head spun. i'd rather settle for rnb, hiphop n my all time favourite, reggae.

at this point of time, i rather not fall in love.

okay people, i tink it's time for me to design a new layout for my blog. im tired of this stripey thing. let's stick to black n a lighter shade of pink. right. but im not sure when. after raya?

speaking of raya, do u tink it kinda suck to celebrate raya wen school will be reopen the next week afta rayer. i tink so too. where's the fun? where's the raya atmosphere? i can't feel it! what's more; i can barely find the time to go out with my friends. ouh ya..i haf lotsa friends. tonnes! even mom would nagged at me on every year of hari raya. cos my friends can't stop attacking my house. bukan kuih raye je abis, duit raya pun abis. haha..

now now, wad do you think of these pictures dat ive edited? nice?

i prefer the third one though.

i'll be back with more. million thanks to Adobe Photoshop.

it's creativity that matters, right?

so we changed to a new mouse. jus to play save.

and dis mouse is sooo freaking small. smaller than the size of my palm. it feels like as if im grabbing an egg rather than a mouse. haha..im crapping too much i guess.

okay stop. everything is really in a mess right now and i cant think straight.

no, i dunwanna blog about it. i prefer to just keep it to myself. no worries, nothing about my relationship. dyem it! it happens to me again n again. this is so upsetting.

i wiped my room window grills just now. so phucking tiring. i wish dad can hire a maid to do all those stuff. and den i, can just shake my beautiful legs. haha..dream on la kental!

yay! ive watched 'Pontianak Menjerit' and i couldn't stop laughing. haha..a crazy and funny ghost story indeed.

errr..im still thinking crookedly. let's end dis meaningless entry with some blogthings.

im still a kid what if u see me from another angle. no? nevermind!

was tired of the game so i dcided to do some photo editing. cool. i cant survive without Adobe PhotoShop. haha..it's like, it holds my life. ive put it up in my friendster as the primary pic.

450 people has viewed ur profile since 1/10/2005. woit! cukup cool tu. 450 people?! keep it going, keep it going.
*wink*

where's my green apple mentos? idiots. those brothers finished them all yesterday. i tout i offered them only one? grrr..!

my aunt dropped by my house just now and lend me a VCD entitled 'Pontianak Menjerit'. haha..i wanna watch it veriee soon. perhaps afta typing dis entry. confirm a funny ghost story. Lan Pet Pet ader pe..

i came across dis girl's multiply WITH radio blog. shitte! how cum my one doesn't work? and she put up reallie hot songs. ey..everything is hot when comes to reggae okayy..been dancing reggae moves wif adik but that idiot kept stepping on my foot. clumsy la.

wen dat day i went to esplanade during National Day, i saw dis teenaged couple dancing to the reggae beat. dey were dancing just beside me. and god dyem yes! powerrr! de girl was all sexy wen handling her moves and the guy cant stop caressing her. hot.

now i wonder wen will it be my turn. haha..

wadeva dirah.

ive yet to eat my lunch. sooo hungry..sya, da makan? haha..

was on the phone with rabia till 2.15 in the morning. somehow, somewhat, somemay, she made me feel all betta. erm..for just 4hrs? yes..bcos afta 4hrs, i dunnoe wad else im supposed to do. stick around or jus leave. urgh!

ive made my 3 requests clearly yesterday. before anything happens, i want all my 3 requests to be granted. i dun care!

i wonder why those siglapians cannot walk out of their school to the bustop quietly. quietly as in no shouting and screaming and watevayours. dey are sooo..oh never mind. in case some siglapians are reading my blog. i never know right? hehe..no offence eh. but they can do stupid stuff like laying flat on the two-way road just infront of my block. giler pe? lau nak mati, gie mati jauh2, jangan mati infront of my block. tak selamat sae aku tinggal sini..

damn it! makcik, where's my pay?! ive yet to pay my hp bill which was due a week ago? i dunwan to receive a second red letter from singtel okayy. and i nid those money to buy all my makeup stuff for rayer and also im planning to buy dis super sweet not-fully-covered brown flats for school. and i nid a new schoolbag.

i cant start buying them all without my pay. grr..u are freaking the hell outta me!

syasya, wait for me eh. dun shop ALONE!

timetable will be out pretty soon. i chose networking instead of java programming. hopefully it can do some good things to me.

fahn, mom said thanks for buying eggs and grass jelly for her. haha..

okay bye. i nid to take my lunch, do some shaving and shampoo my hair. im having tuition later in the afternoon.

anybody wanna have a girl's talk with me? something to do about sex. haha..i nid clarification!

wait. here's for you. in the name of entertainment. but it's in malay. sooo..sorie ye.

me: mama, nanti adeq da kahwin kan, adeq taknak buat sex arh.
mom: asal?
me: takot arh. sakit kan?
mom: aper dier yang sakit?
me: iyelah, biler dier nak insert tu, kan sakit. eee..taknak arh. i nak ader anak tapi i taknak masuk dari bawah ar.
mom: abeh nak masuk dari aner? hidung?
me: hahahahaha! klakar abis.
mom: first time sakitla, da second time maner ader sakit lagi.
me: eh? lau gtu i nak skip yang first time and go on to the second time ble? tkpe, i tahu tak ble. sebab i bebual merepek.
mom: tahu pun! abe..nak anak tapi takot sakit. macam gitu sakitla aku beranak kan kau. itupun degil nak mampus.
me: ey ey chill la ma. topic da lari okay..

and i walked out of the kitchen.

my mom is the coolest mom. i can share almost everything with her. from my feelings, stress, sex and even wen i broke up with anione. she'll be there to comfort me, the most.

I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.

Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.

that's the best song to describe me at the moment.
Stay The Same by Joey Mcintyre

please give me the honour to interpret the lyrics.

( Don't you ever wish you were someone else )
god dyem yes, at this moment i wish i am someone else. someone dat nobody noes.

( You were meant to be the way you are exactly )
i know that. im born to be like this and i noe nothing can change the way i am. isit?

( When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far )
i wish i haf the chance to learn to love myself. how can i wen i dun even know wad my heart wants? fact is, im lost. im trapped in confusion.

( Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way )
i wish i haf that courage to speak up. i wish my heart gives me the chance to tell everyone wad im feeling right now. im afraid if i speak up and open up my heart, i'll be doom. perhaps, im not strong enough. im still a human with a soft heart.

( The love you find will set you free )
how i wish that sentence is sooo true. yet, the one who set you free is the one who loves you deeply.

right. all i nid is some faith. i cant possibly buy faith with money!

he finally asked 'are you okay?'. i answered 'do you want the truth or the lies?'

first he replied 'the truth'. and so i said 'im not okay.'

then he replied 'the lies?'. i answered 'im okay.'

when will dis last? where will this bring me?

those questions are only left unanswered. im so disappointed in myself.

i had some space yesterday. and now, who will help me get out of dis messy life?

the gurlfrens are leading their own life. the gurlfrens once know that dirah isn't the sort who kips everything to herself. dirah isn't the girl who dun noe how to handle matters of the heart. dirah always let it all out. yes, all. from feelings to hatred.

but that dirah doesn't exist anymore. ive lost the courage and faith halfway through my journey.

im goin to end this entry with a simple thought.

'how can i be living happily wen all i haf to do is listen to ___ and neva talked back? i choose to be with ___, and clearly, ___ told me that if u wanna leave with me, u'll haf to do things my way, not ur way.’

am i even wrong to answer that,

'im a human too. i haf feelings. i haf what i want in life. sometimes, i want you to listen to me too. those are unfair to me. put urself in my shoes and u'll noe wad i mean. true?'

they are NEVER true to ___.

im wondering.
what does it feel to have two heart and one soul?

that might sound tremendously pathetic and stupid, but think. wouldn't life be a lil bit betta?? perhaps, it's a yes for me.

i dunnoe why but i dun seem to get everything straight. u wanna know the pathetic side of me?

im not as strong as u think i am. especially if love that matters.

i suck at loving someone.

i suck at taking care of my own precious heart.

and most importantly, i suck at keeping my love life.

thus,

im only good at ruining everything. yes..especially afta years of building the love with my otha half.

where do i stand? i dun even know.

and sometimes, i jus wish dat the word 'love' never exist in my life. never. so i will never fall in love and able to keep my heart to myself.

but at times, i wanna haf some writings in my love story. i want to be his princess. i want to be the gerl who occupies his heart.

ouh right, im confuse. i hate to handle this shit. can u hear me scream??

at this tiny moment, im still wondering who's right for me and who's not right for me. will i still be able to stand up by myself and smile if i leave everything behind?

nobody enjoy saying goodbye to one another. fact is, i hate dat moment.

but is there even a soul who understands me?

i wanna get out of this life.

give me faith to assure me that i'll make through every obstacles.

however, i tend to say and do things i dun really mean.

my whole body's aching. u see, the worst thing about painting designs on wall is that u cant possibly rotate the wall, instead u haf to rotate urself. yes..bend here and dere just to make sure u are in a comfortable position to paint it. sucks! it left me with nothing but aches everywhere. i badly and seriously nid a massage. anione wanna help me outt? i'll be sooo glad.

i dunnoe why on earth am i blogging at this point of time. i was supposed to take a five minutes break before fighting with the wall again, but i simply cant resist the temptation of blogging. it is one of my deadly temptation okayy..kill me.

afta watching America's Next Top Model, i tout i should do something worth before i die. like having the chance to walk on the runaway under the amazingly amazing lights. cool. im still too short to be a model though. who's to blame? my parents or the generations? blergh!

let's just save it dirah. i mite neva noe wat's awaiting me. maybe more cool and hott stuffs. shoot me.

i wanna suntan under the blazing sun with my gurls. i saw dis perfectly shades of brown bikini. it's sooo gorgeous! first stop to crash is the Pahlawan Beach. mann, i cant wait. ailah has suggested it to me. well gurl, jus call me up and let me know wen. and u noe wad? i dunmind skipping school for a day just for suntanning. so, count me in okayy?

b, i noe i haven't been myself lately. im not at all cheerful wen on the fon with you and yes, i rarely call you. im really sorry. things haf been changing too fast and i couldn't catch up with it. ure asking for something that im not confident of. please give me some time to sort things out.

mum realized it. i haven't been eating much these days. like just now, im not fasting yet all i ate was a burger at 12noon and dats it. during buke, i only ate mom's kacang pool and im already full. she forced me to eat her bubur caca, and i had to force that food down.

i dunnoe why i just can't eat much lately. all my cuzens and fwends said that ive gone thinner. dat does gif me the chance to be a model?? haha..dream on.

maybe i should start thinking wad i should do before i die. that'll be betta compared to having this new dream of becoming a model or a stewardess. u think so too? hehe..

halloween's coming! i nid a partner to scare ourselves at downtown. b, where's my ticket? U said u gonna get it for me?? i shall wait..

ive been told. the hott thing about me is my face. really?

okayy..my body's still aching. i nid some rest. sweet dreams daddy. look at me, im throwing the paintbrush away..i nid my sleep. sooner or later, i'll fall asleep..but im still waiting for your good night msg.

good night!

u see, ive been busy doin the housework. dat's one thing i hate about rayer. god dyem it! and my dad, he made me paint that wall again.

the windows. for those who haven't see my house, i'll tell u sumting about my house window grills. they aren't those squarish or slanted grills u commonly see in otha people house. bcos my house window grills are those black n bronze aluminium grills whereby there will be patterns like flowers, twirlers and blab. so imagine us having to wipe the grills. i'll be lying if i didn't curse. haha..

im having my 7days fasting vacation. woohoo! sorie kengkawanku. let's see..i wanna eat more cranberry's chocolate, the one with raisins n fruits, with my Sunkist. ouh la la. can u imagine the goddess feeling? im loving it.

so fine. adeq's rebonded her hair. she somehow looked like me from behind. grr..! but not from the front cos her fringe sucks n she looks chubbier than me. hehe..im trying hard to be mean. can't u see?? and her hair is black. stilla schoolgirl mah..

talking about hair colour, mom came into my room and freaked me on Saturday.

i was combing my hair wen she came in.

mum: adeq, did u dye ur hair again?
me: huh? no larh. asal?
mum: ur hair's turning perang tu.
me: ye ke? Ouh, probably bcos im directly standing under the light.
mum: (sigh) ure the only girl who dyed ur hair in dis family.
me: oit! dun make it sounds like im the bad girl in de family larh.
mum: but it's true wad. count for me how many times haf u dyed ur hair?
me: erm..five times?
mum: see..
me: i wanna make it six soon. haha..
mum: gasak kau la.

dere goes my nagging mom. at one moment she will nagged like some old woman, and at another moment, she's the one who will helped me dye my hair. funny shit right??

so im thinking, should i dye it or not. wad she said was kinda true though. the colour's becoming brighter. kill me. i cant even make up my mind. dumb ass!

for the last two days, ive been goin to geylang till morning. and my hair smelled like deng deng. no joke. im soo freaking tired. dat is why i dun even haf the time to blog.

yesterday dad was the funniest father ive ever seen. let me tell u the story.

dad: adeq, ur fwends eh?
me: where?
dad: there.

and all i can see were some matreps.

me: no larh. ey, which one ure talking about?
dad: that one la.

then i saw the person who dad was pointing at.

me: mepek la papa ni. ur fwend la tu.
dad: jom jalan blakang dier.
me: hahaha. pikir klakar pe?
dad: faster la.

so we all followed dad.

and some men were happily disturbing the bapok like,

and they laughed away. obviously the bapok was enjoying it.

dad: i pity the bapok.
me: huh? asal?
dad: ehh..kecian tau dier kena kacau.
me: pa! giler pe? he's loving it lagi ader. That's the reason why he wants to be a bapok.
dad: (sigh) realllie pity him.
me: (beat dad's back) are u okay? nak pity aper lagi?
dad: kecian dier takde kawan. see, he's walking all alone.

i stopped walking and looked at dad.

me: u wanna be his fwend or wad? maner tahu kan, skali dier bukak rambut sempel dier, kawan papa arh!
dad: haha. veriiee farnie.
me: okay pe. papa kan popular. maner2 all ur fwend. who noes he's one of ur fwends too.

and we burst into laughter. and mom scolded us for being too noisy at geylang. haha!

he's crazy. i mean, my dad and dat bapok. sajak la tu..

my coolest aunt rebond her hair! wow! dun forget to bring me around and we'll shop together okay?? just let me know. dad and mom wont be a problem. trust me.

argh! im sooo fucking bored.

can somebody please kidnap me and leave me at any shopping centre? i will be more than pleased. haha..

i wanna dance to this song. so fuckingly hott!

let's drop it like it's hot.

It's the S the L the I the M
Let me tell you what I wanna do
Let me show you that I'm feelin' you
Wanna sex, wanna ride with you
Wanna taste, wanna put my lips all over you
Can't get enough of you
Always thinkin of you
So sweet, so very wet
So good, girl you make me sweat
Girl I'm talkin' 'bout

my throat's finally doesn't hurt anymore. thank god. and now ive to kick dis flu away. im not kidding when i said ive used up a box of tissue. serious. the flu is killing me, wad do u expect. and yes, i didn't get my beauty sleep. the aircon didn't help much though. i kept sneezing and blowing my nose verie hard till it hurts.

still feeling feverish. with a spinning and heavy head, a red nose and errr..a warm body? yep.

temperature check: 36.8 degree Celsius

god damn yes! from 37.2 to 36.8. pretty good.

let's see. i slept at 2am cos i really cant stop listening to reggae and more reggae. oi, member smangat download from imesh okay. i cant rely on syasya anymore. funny thing about reggae is dat if u could catch their beats, every reggae song has the same beat except for different lyrics. how cool is dat? too cool i guess.

fahmi msg-ed me in the morning. well, atleast there's somebody out there who still do care about me. he was asking me how's my flu and i told him it's getting worst and im running a fever.

dat mr. doc is betta off be my private doctor. "u betta take ur medicine if not, dun eva think of talking to me anymore." damn it! how could u threaten ur own bestfriend? wait till it's ur turn. i'll make sure i gif u double dat threaten. ouh, i did that before. i told him if he eva involve in a gang fight again, i'll make sure i break his right knee. funny shit.

everything's not okay. im still trying to find a place in my heart to forgive him. how's dat? im not even prepare to start afresh. i hate the thought of picking up the broken pieces of my heart again and again. it hurts alot!

despite being the sick party, i had to go for my tuition at tamp. screw dat kid, she called me at 8.45am wen i was still sleeping, asking me wad time can i gif tutor. how about 10am?! are u crazy or wad? i still nid my sleep. so i told her i'll probably come at 1pm.

urgh..i was 30mins late.

bumped into luqman a.k.a joey at the bustop. they were carrying their surfboard. skimmers la dey..i was trying my best to smile at him and hide my sick face. guess it works.

it's amazing if i tell you that i went home straightaway afta tuition. really. im not in de mood to walk around. took 3 and entertained myself with my mp3. later, two guys boarded the bus and they sat at the very last seat, somewhere right behind me. and i swear i dunnoe wad one of them was trying to do to me.

picture this. i was looking out of the window, too engrossed with the song dat i dunnoe wad is happening around me. wen i turned to my right, i saw a face beside me from behind. and he dugged in and looked away the moment i turned to my right. and wen i turned to my left, he sticked his head out again. goodness! waddehell is he tryna do? peep at me or wad? it was definitely irritating and pathetic. i wished i can knock his blardie forehead with my umbrella and carved the letter 'L' there. L stands for loser. sounds betta right?

dis two prcsian gerls boarded the bus somewhere near pasir ris crest. dey said hi to me. how nicee..i was told dat all sec5 are attending a course for 1 month. and i went "1month?!" with dat wide eyes. it's sucha pity to see them returning to school again for dat pathetic course wen they've already sat for their nlevel. haha..

she's reeked of cigarettes. tak puaser eh..la, step dirah baik je. haha..

she turned around and talked to me. here we go..

she: ey, do you remember last yr's rayer wen u wif ur gerls were walking somewhere at ur area?
dirah: (thinking) hmm..wad tyme was dat?
she: around 12am or 1am. it was really late dat tyme.
dirah: ouh yes yesh! why? u saw us?
she: (laughed) yah. i was walking home alone. were u girls drunk?
dirah: drunk?? errr..no. why?
she: u girls were swaying so much wen u all walked.
dirah: haha..sounds cool. no la, we weren't drunk, perhaps mabuk. haha!

drunk = mabuk wad! but dey looked as if dey contained different meaning though. haha..right?

nvm about dat. it sounded weird. i haven't eaten my lunch anyway.

ew witch! stop bragging about ur daughter can or not? wad's so great about her? it's not like as if she's those real millionaire princess. she's still living under ur money la. u bragged like as if she's so cool. yah right. perhaps, cooler den my grandmere.

i love my charles and keith's handbag! wonder why i didn't take a photo of it? haha..simply bcos it is still nicely wrapped with a plastic cover. i'll unwrapped it on the first day of rayer. hehe..sorie!

okayy. im done with my essay.

my promises are never meant to be broken. sweet!

i laid flat on bed right after i break my fast. i ate a beef burger ONLY wif bandung. i guess im losing a lot of weight this month. no doubt. took 2 panadols, well actually, i thought of taking 4 panadols instead, but i guess dat will only makes me go totally flat. haha..i feel so much betta afta taking 2hrs nap. but the throat is still killing me, ouh, not forgetting the flu too.

i didn't tell fahn im a really sickbird. right. how am i supposed to tell him wen we've already lost dat valuable ting called communication? Pfuit!

i was half dead laying on bed, doin nothing except for staring the ceiling. and my mp3 battery went flat on me wen i was shiok-ingly listening to the reggaeton of kevin's turn me on. dyem it!

so ive decided to blog! and ive came up with a topic to blog about. taa-daa!

10things u should really know about me. and psst psst! not even a single soul noes it, well, maybe..excluding farhan.

dere u go. what do ya tink??

okay im outta here. ouh, i cancelled my tuition today becos i was too sick to teach. so i guess my lil pay will be on fri den.
*sigh*

somebody, anybody! please entertain me with some text msg-es. im bored to death.

should i go to the gym? or run 4 rounds the stadium? anyone wanna follow me?

something's wrong with my imesh. darn it!

i was this close to break my fast. i cant stand it anymore. but i convinced myself that i will not faint if i dun swallow two panadols.

i had tuition just now. and later at nite. i swear im goin to start cursing!

temperature check : 37.2 degree celsius

does dat mean im really having a slight fever? mom said it's normal..really? how cum i dun feel normal? seriously, i dun tink im walking, it's more to floating.

let's put dat aside. im still feeling sick though.

i woke up today only to realize i was not myself yesterday. please forgive me god! it's not like im drunk or wad, but i dun seem to remember wad shits ive done.

and now im confuse. wad is dis feeling tryna tell me?! i can feel my pinch, dat means im not dreaming. urghh..i wish heaven is on our side..

i'll be back with long entries tomorrow. u may kip my promise..

you were treated with so much tender care that u think the world owes you?

you were lifted up so high that you tink you can touch the sky?

and the next thing you know,
u were being dropped flat to the ground and every wonderful feeling disappear?

hmm..right now i feel so..hmm oh never mind.
i rather keep it to myself. it happened again and again despite giving the chances. and now u wonder, how many more chances do u nid to gif before something so wonderful happen again?

my mind is in a mess. i wished im strong enough to bear with all this shits. but im not. im a human too. random thoughts are conquering my mind.

im afraid to know the truth but wen the truth is out, i fall. im trapped in confusion and darkness. but obviously, im not to blame. somebody, anybody, pls get me out!

my heart is silently screaming for you. then again, i wish u could hear it.

i nid some peaceful moments. i'll find my non-living 'bestfriend'.

i guess i can neva be good enuf for you.
or isit you?

ouh well..what else can i do..?

mally, are u sure i looked thinner? u mus be kidding sweetie. i alwas tout i looked chubbier. well, maybe maaaayb, i do lose some weight. but on the other hand, dis new short hair might jus makes me looked thinner. u decide though.

let's get on about my hair, shall we?

i tink it's starting to get a lil smoother. and im starting to like my hair. gawd..who cares if short hair = not nice, u freak! i think it suits me. wait till i see u face2face. i'll make sure u go flat on my toes. haha..

my new hair look was supposed to be a secret, u smelly cousins! urgh..now ive to start planning on wad else i should do to my hair. well..dis is OUR raya routine. we will gather at our grandmere's house, and then start being a lil bitchy like..

and blab blab blab.

sounds fun rite?? but thanks to often-bumping-into-my-cousins-at-geylang, i tink the secret or rather surprise is outt! alahai..

let me conclude all their say. my hair is funky, too layered and ergh..i looked a lil more matured and im being too daring. for all i noe, i AM being daring.

i went out with my family yesterday. okayy hunnie, ive bot raya cards for you. just wait for the postman to deliver it to ur mailbox okayy? im sweeeet rightt?

cant wait for my little pay tomorrow and 1 week 3 days more to my big pay.

cant wait cant wait cant wait

i had no mood during sahur just now. all i wan to do is sleeeep! i ate with my eyes closed. dere's only mom, dad and me. the two sistas were having fun sleeping. period!

went for a mini shopping yesterday. crashed Charles and Keith for fun. i tout i will not fall for their bags and shoes but im absolutely WRONG! i was stucked in that store for almost 45mins. i was head over heels with their classic handbags and heels. and for once, i felt like a goddess! i was this close to broke, so i WILL come back when im loaded. deal!

i phuckingly looove dis handbag..sooo gorgeous. and it's fucking cheap. will get it wen im loaded again..

i tout dis is classic too. i bot a handbag something similar to dis..but the handbag dat i bot wasnt online. perhaps i'll post e pic next time.

i was this close to buy dat bag, in pink. but the moment it was in my hand, it looked stiff.

pink pumps? looks good. something new..black is too boring. furthurmore, ive already bot a black pumps.

i wish i could wear dis superr high heel. but it'll be the death of farhan, though. haha..im sure u get wad i mean..

adeq pissed me off by purchasing dis elegant heels. it's white with orange n pink ribbons on both sides. not only dat, their heels are in shades of pink! having a white footwear is sooo eye-catching.

one quarter of my cuzens were at Homemart. waiting for the mini show to start. it was amazingly fantabulous! host like Ali will neva failed to entertain the crowds. and we haf Suhana, Ciko and Ridhwan to add a lil bit of sparkles into the show. gorgeous!

it was at 12am before we had our supper at a nearby coffeeshop. beef murtabak and bandung for me. it was really a BIG table. say..7 tables? kecohrable!

i plead guilty for not bringing my digicam along. i totally forgot about it. soriee lil baby..

let's put dat aside. i had so much fun yesterday.

let me tell you the fantastic story.

i was supposed to meet rabia n man at Paya Lebar mrt BUT i was late. is dat something new? no. haha..blame fahn and nassier. they were e ones who're late. not me. serious rabia, u gotta trust me..pretty please..

okay wadeva. leha reached there on time and she had troublesome finding a toilet. dat girl arh, nampaksah sangat tak penah turun geylang. hehs!

at first, we tout of breaking our fast at Haig Road, but it seemed crowded. so we settled for those lighter foods. believe it or not, fahn paid for all my food. love you! we bought kebab, keropok lekur, beef Burger Ramli, apam pulau pinang and Katirah drinks. yummy! and nothing's new, my stomach was bloated afta dat. haha..

walked around next. fahn was supposed to buy a black kurung to match with me BUT nothing's in mind yet. perhaps e next time. geylang was not dat packed yesterday. but it was veriee hot especialli if u were to be trapped in the middle of the bazaar.

i found my candy floss! yippee..! again, fahn paid for me. he's being so nice to me. a lil weird though. haha..

walked around aimlessly until i saw dis marvelous pair of sandal. wonder y it caught my attention?? bcos it's pink. and it's perfect for casual wear wif jeans. i like..might consider it. was drooling over other sandals wen suddenly, yes, wen suddenly i saw a BIG cockroach in the stall. i was about to alert rabia n ailah wen ailah told me dat there's a BIG cockroach beside me. i jumped and shrieked, obviously. so dere was two cockroaches! freaked! now im considering if i should enter the stall ever again for that pink sandal.

we ran out of the stall, pushed the salesgirl aside, without even thanking her. gross! it however, freaked me out for another 10mins. eww!

had nowhere to go aftarall. ended up in Malay Village and as usual, that place is like the second SPCA. cats were roaming around freely, scaring the hell outta me! and i too, were running around, not bcos i wanted to imitate the cats, but it's rather bcos the cat was chasing me! dyem it!

and came this anak terbiar a.k.a aceh, pinched the cat's neck and carried it nearer to me. i was running and shouting like a mad girl, seeking help from fahn, but he did nothing. so i hid behind man instead.

if ure wondering who's the aceh im referring to, he's none otha than nassier who loves to irritate me. so i went "kau nie knaper? aku tak kacau kau kan..aku tumbuk muka kau, baru tahu tau." and they laughed bcos they knew i haf no punching skills.

dis is wad he did to attract the attention of cats..

grr..!

dcided to head the mrt since we had nowhere to go anymore.

rabia n man wanted to walk another round before heading home, so we left them.

and in the mrt, even the most annoying thing can happen. it's alwas annoying if u hear nassier n fahn annoyed each other. saying who's short and who's bigger in size. Bah!

okayy man, u win alright? it took me awhile to realise that beef = lembu. he pathetically told the burger Ramly man dat ive just landed Spore, thus dunnoe dat beef = lembu.

and im always the walking digicam.

ouh ya. ive just received two mails. both are from farhan.

read dis dat's written in one of the cards.

sweeeet rightt? i smiled afta reading it..yes hunnie, sometimes it's nice to receive a card from you ALTHOUGH we haf dis invention called Technology.

and the other card was from farhan's family. all signatures were inside. his mom, his dad, his two sisters n his bro. and i haf difficulties tryna figure oput which is who's signature. they are really the bright light in my life.

now im wondering..must i send u a card too..??

dad's not working today and im sooo freaking afraid dat he will force me to do some housework. yes..and ive to do all those boys' work simply bcos i haf no brothers. let me name some, so dat u guys can get hold of wad kinda work i was told to do.

maybe, dat's only some of it. who noes dis year ive to do MORE? blergh! i personally hate doing all those stuffs. hate it. pakal nak rumah cantik during rayer, if not..

and yesterday, dad asked me if i would like to repaint dat portion of the house. i stared at him in disbelief and went "i just painted it last year. and im the one who painted it oke. alah..uat pe nak paint lagik? troublesome la."

yes..if only adeq and sis were born to be gifted or talented. bcos they're talentless in arts! let alone painting the house.

i'll show you the portion of the house dat ive painted.

let's get closer..

wad do u tink? does it nid a new look? i dun tink so..

and dad went 'but i dunwan dat anymore. i want a grey and black rocks instead.' dis is wad u get if u haf cerewek dad.

ergh..so i tink i haf no more choice.

wait. i can still find another reason like..we can always repaint it next year instead. haha..im jus trying my luck. i know.

dat is soooo frustrating!

okay..put that away.

im crashing geylang again today. yes ah! im goin to haf my burger Ramli today with Katirah drink. yummylicious! im sick of Kebab though. had dat the last time i went to break my fast with fahn.

goin dere wif my crazy bunchies. ailah, rabia, man, fahn n nassier. superrr cool! they said, the more the merrier. i tink so too. im supposed to help fahn find a black kurung, since im wearing black dis year. mahu samer samer dong..

den we shall haf MY keropok lekur. make sure dis time around the keropok lekur is nice and crunchy. bcos the last time dat fahn bot for me, and according to nassier and din, it's like chewing gum! gawd! we had a hard time chewing dem and at last, we threw it away..funny shite!

and fahn shall haf HIS neva-ending deng deng. grrr..

i cant write a long entry today. adeq is sitting bside me, waiting for me to start editing her new layout. dumb ass! u wanna black n pink rite? alrighty! see wad wonders dirah can do to ur blog.

ive to go before she screams at me.

wad should i wear later..?? hmm..

1. clean up my study table.

2. clean up my bookshelves and throw away all those unnecessary books and worksheets. (if possible, throw all. grrr..i wish i could!)

3. try on the new hari raya clothes.

4. stop sleeping after eating.

5. exercise more to avoid being in the next season of Villa Wellness.

6. deposit back 60bucks that ive used and DUN spend too much!

7. okay fine, i cant resist shopping, so mite as well shop till i drop.

8. get myself the Klearcut hair moisturiser.

9. dun shame myself. go wash all my flipflops!

10. stop missing farhan dat much.

WAIT!! he IS MY BOYFRIEND. it's only right that i miss him all day. right?? scrap dat out of my 'Things to do' list.

hmm..one's done. Phew! and thanks to the rusty bookshelves, im still sneezing. i threw a big plastic bag of papers and books. well, i hope i didn't make a BIG mistake by throwing all those. still..still, i do kip some. so syasya..if ure reading this, please DUN start throwing ALL the papers n ALL ur books!

mum finally finished sewing my hari raya clothes. woohoo! im sooo happy! cant wait to try them on, but i haven't take my morning bath. hmph! will do that later.

having my tuition later in the afternoon. waaaaay boring. i hate to travel all the way to tamp jus for that god dyem tuition. especially wen im fasting. bcos i hate those temptations i'll see outside.

i dunnoe. sumtimes i love my new hair but at times, i HATE my new hair. it's still dry at the bottom, though. dat is why im getting their hair moisturiser which cost me 32bucks.

well, as you can see..ive changed a new pic at the top part of my blog. hmm..i luv changes. though it's reallie simple, it is still a change. right? a picture of me and my otha half. nothing can be betta than dis. love it.

dis is sooo fun! i get to eat everything dat i crave for ONLY during Ramadhan. syiok eh. and today ive asked mom to order pizza for me. im craving for pizza. sedap!

ey..do u guys realize something? ive been updating my blog dyem regularly during this fasting month. isit bcos im TOO free? ouh wadeva, hopefully this will last till the end of hari raya. dun be surprise if u see no dirah during hari raya. she's busily going around la. kamu kamu paham paham je la eh..

im wondering..wen will my nick 'adeq' disappear? everyone in this house, or rather all my pakciks and makciks been calling me 'adik'. oke..dat nick is CUTE but im already 18. and for everyone's info, i haf a lil sis at home. but noone calls her 'adeq'. pelik tapi benar.

im walking around with mum and dad, and suddenly they saw something really nice and they went "adik! look at dis." i turned around, only to realize dat some dudes are smiling away. wad dey're thinking is exactly wad ure thinking. waaaay embarrassing lor.

lucky me, i have farhan. okayy..does dat even haf a connection to the above situation?

dat is why u dun see me blogging in de morning. and seriously, i dun feel like blogging right now, but i cant jus leave my lovelies rightt? see..atleast i haf all of you in my heart. oh no, near my heart bcos the onli person who's in my heart is fahn. haha..

talking about him, ive realized that im missing him. and ive yet to return his msg. i told him i will be sleeping til noon, and dat DUN call me, jus a msg will do. hehe..bcos i haf this sickness of being unable to sleep back afta talking on the phone. especially wif him. sucha DUDE!

okayy..i was supposed to go Watson-and-Guardian shopping with rabia todae but till now she hasn't ring me up yet. probably she's still sleeping too. ouh dat girl..she can even wake up longer than me..yes! and most probably i wun be goin honey, perhaps tomorrow? see la..my lil adeq nids my help in Maths. she's facing a Maths paper tomorrow. im gonna torture her..im mean!

maybe some real facts u nid to know about me.

like the fact dat maths is my cup of tea BUT not english. i always screw up in english back then in sec school.

and the fact that i once DID scored the highest for a Social Studies test. yes..it was only once. im proud to say that u cant basically score the highest if it weren't for ur exact info and umm..mayb good English?? and my paper was zapped for everyone..atleast i can be proud of dat. (adeq forced me to write dat)

and the fact that one minute ago, im all joyful and the next minute, i cant be bothered to entertain you..haha! fahn always get that from me. yes..wad EXACTLY does a girl want? shoot me.

another fact is dat my body is longer than my legs. sheeeesssh! do i haf to tell u dat?

Pfuit! which means BIG DEAL in france.

ive received my hp bill. $45. haha..seems like miss dirah noes everthing about saving.

i forced mum to cook Mee Hoon Goreng today. my favourite, of course! bcos she's been cooking adeq's and sis' favourite, but not mine. according to her, im not the cerewek type, bcos i ate anyting dat she cooked without complaining. except her curry! okay.not onli her curry, othas too.

finally ive found a new hobby for myself. im a bookworm now! even fahn laughed at me for dat. waddeheck?! in the first place, is it even funny?

im missing fahn BADLY now. gonna call him n tell him dat i miss him.

it must be from fahn la! he was sneezing most of the tyme yesterday wen we went out. urgh.. i shouldn't haf went near to him. i shouldn't haf kiss him..grrr..! but still, he's the love of my life, the reason my heart beats.

yest chalet was not as planned. to be exact, it was kinda cocked up. seriously.

i came wif fahn at 8.45pm hoping to see everyone there. C1321 indeed. there was no footwears outside the room and so we thought they might opened the door from behind. we went all the way to the back door but shockingly, let alone the closed door. dere were no footwears too. and we were like "what the hell are they all doin in the room with closed front and back doors?" we knocked, hoping to see faces. i repeat. FACES.

but God no. dere were only ah boon and wei chao inside. yes..two guys in the room, watching teevee WITH closed doors. the first thing i asked was "wad were u guys doin in the room..?" and they went, "watching the teevee." okayy..sounds weird though. as much as u are wondering where the hell the rest were, i too was wondering. they went to haf their dinner at whitesand. yes..if it's somewhere in downtown, atleast im fine with it. but..it's in whitesand! great..

so i told dem i wun be coming to the chalet. i guessed spending the nite time wif fahn alone is betta. waaaaaay betta, i mean.

so we went to e Downtown's McDonald and chill outside under the cold nite. we talked, we joked, we laughed, we took photos, we..okay..and more. haha..

here u go darlings..

do we look alike??

i cant resist you..

he kept pulling my chair. wanting me to sit real close to him. oke hunnie, why not we share a seat? wouldn't dat be betta? haha..im mean, i know that. he can be really farnie sometimes..

went to Sakae Sushi next to kidnap nassier from his workplace. haha..nolah, i was just kidding. fahn wanted to see his second girlfriend, yes..nassier. they were talking behind the glass door (pkir romantic, which is NOT) and i was enjoying the loud blast of black eyed peas' My Humps. haha..jackass!

he sent me home afta dat. jus in time for me to catch American's Next Top Model.

woohoo! im so in love with yesterday's episode. waaaayy cooler den anione would expect. imagine having photo shots while dancing with three hot guys! hott plus cool..!

naima rocks the show! apart from admiring her eva gorgeous hair and looks, im amazed she could dance really well. yes..i want her body figure. and i love the blue shirt she was wearing yesterday during the elimination. the word 'sexy' was written all over her!

im having tuition later at Pasir Ris. only 60% looking forward to it. im feeling so tired and walking around with THIS nose is so pathetic. i wish i can use the vacuum to suck everthing. erggh..!

maybe i can start inventing one..haha!

ouh..im hungry. dat will be the seventh time. bye!

actually, ive already came out wif a new layout BUT it didn't workout sooo well. in fact, it's eeewww! haha..i was neva shocked before seeing such an ugly layout dirah has created. so i guess, stripy background still rocks!

de things dat ive changed were only the bottom part, which says "bcos u're part of me", the sidetitle background color - it's more pinky, hmm..the starflakes - ive deleted the red stars and replaced it with a more brighter pink stars, the scrollbar color and the border of dis table - if u could still remember, it used to be black, but now it's pink.

i cant get enuf of pink. seriously. every girl loves pink rightt?

im hungry! dat is the sixth time im telling u since i started fasting six days ago. urgh..i guess it will sooner or later total up to 28times. haha..since we're fasting for 28 days. ouh ya..should minus the 7days im goin to get my period. blergh!

can someone pls tell me wad will happen to someone if he or she kips sleeping right afta eating? gosh! ive been doin dat since the day i started having my sahur. im gonna be fat jackass!

imagine having dis fat chic in my grandma's house first day of hari raye. if ure not turn-off, i am! hehe..

seriously, i cant wait to meet my gerls on Friday. let's say..triple date? fun-ness! dirah n fahn, rabia n man, ailah n usop. cool rite? been waiting for dat day to arrive. can i like fast forward my days please?? hmm..

as you can see or sense, im a lil depress becos im broke! dat is why im resorting to craps.

urgh! fahmi told me short hair = not nice. really?! does dat haf to apply to me? alah..!

let me tell u something. i was chased by a puppy 2days back. u'll say "aiyah! it's just a puppy." i will say "a puppy is still a dog rightt?" i was petrified okay! and to tell u, that puppy was NEVA cute to me, and it's not cute to see a puppy chasing afta a BIG gerl, who ran as if a big dog was chasing her. dumb ass!

so now, my phobia towards dogs are being doubled! and my phobia towards cats are thrice!

get it?

but i tink, im used to fahn's cat. or maybe, still trying to get used to it. ohhh..right!

okay..before my meaningless entry gets longer, i tink it's betta if i stop here.

i cant wait to go to the chalet. im bringing fahn along. in case ure wondering miss syasya. wait for my next entry wif pictures. hopefully.

toodles!

you haf to wait patiently till heaven is on our side. and let nature do its stuff.
anw, im touched.

anyway, amazingly amazing, their Lamb Chop was delicious! obviouslyla..free pe. haha..mum bought it for me and it costs her $6.80. yes..freaking expensive huh??

i swear i was having a hard time slicing the lamb. bcos firstly, i nid to kip in mind dat im outside, so..be ladylike dirah. secondly, sis' hand was too big. she kept squeezing at me, for i dunno wad reason. thirdly, im too hungry and all i wan to do is kip feeding myself with the lamb wheneva i finished chewing one.

and i ended up feeling tired rather than a full stomach. haha..anw, i haf fun slicing the lamb.

okayy..u dunhaf to tell me. im crapping too much here.

u noe, for the last years im wif fahn, only now i realized dat the word 'shy' is not within OR in me anymore. i'll tell u why, but promise me u wun laugh OR even giggle. promise?

Number 1
i eva fart infront of fahn and i tried to pretend it wasn't me, but sadly, he heard my cute fart. and he laughed. he told me not to fart infront of him again, it's sucha turn-off. but hello mr fahn, if farting dat matters, i duntink i can hold back. haha..especialli infront of you. bcos i believe, my fart will smell like strawberry bcos we're in love. yes?

Number 2
i remembered falling at the staircase FLAT on my butt. n it hurts. he wasn't bside me, bcos if he's bside me, atleast he can't see my first face expression wen i fall, but im talking about..he was standing infront of me! he was waiting for me at the void deck and happened to be, he stood infront of the straircase. i was smiling at him wen i got down the staircase, BUT luck was not on my side. i fell and he saw EVERYTHING. shy?? was at first, but afta dat, he helped me rubbed my butt.

Number 3
burping is a gross thing to do. especially infront of someone who u really love OR admire. right? but sorry hunnie, i'll burp wen i think i cant do myself a favour, by burping softly. sumtimes, u dun plan to burp quietly, bcos eventually, it WILL become loud.

Number 4
so wad if he eva saw my armpit not fully shaved?

okayyy..aftarall promises are meant to be broken. thanks for laughing.

ive made up my mind. im goin to the chalet tomorrow nite.

u noe wad i feel like doin now??

changing to a new layout. a new pink layout. oke..maybe i'll still use dis layout, but wif a different pics and colour. can??

dat will be the 11th layout on vivalicious-dirah.

we'll see..

wanna see??

here's the close-up of the sweeet flower.

well well well..wad do u tink?? pretty elegant rightt? wait till i slip my feet in it. hehe..okay im crapping too much.

geylang yesterday was horrendous! serious. i can barely walked through the crowds. it's like..hmm at Mecca? i guess..let alone seeing the stuff they sold there. phew! and my shorty hair is doing me a superb favour. im cool.

wanted to bump into rabia badly yesterday. but..obviously, cant la. so there you go, dis fri okay..? dun miss me too much. hehe!
*grin*

ouh ouh..and mercun exploded quite a number of times. it went 'bomb' and the next moment, u'll see sparkles. im not talking about you throwing a mercun in an open space tau. im toking about some brainless guys who purposely put a mercun in between the crowd! yes..crazy but it's true. and within 1min, the police will arrive.

dun they think about the consequences? great. bcos the word 'brainless' was created for them.

went to eat at Marhaba Restaurant. uhuh..im loving their Cheese Prata. it's only a freaking $1.50. compare the price to the coffeeshop dat sells all Indian Food infront of Temasek Poly. one cheese prata actually costs me $3. sheeesssh!

was looking around afta eating wen i saw dis family. oke..let me recall. there's the father, mother, a younger brother n two older sister aging around 19 and 23 perhaps. and probably the 23yrs old sister brought along her fiances. oke..something like dat. im not dat TOOOO kpo.

so..i was looking at them wen suddenly something really shocked me. their daughters were smoking infront of their parents. im like..waddehell??! and believe it or not, the parents said nothing, instead their dad was smoking too. gross! and the fiances wasn't smoking. double gross!

soo..wad do parents nowadays are thinking??

dun they want their children to show some respect? okay fine, if not towards of them, atleast teach dem some manners on how to show respect towards outsiders la.

if guys were to smoke infront parents, that is acceptable. but in this case..it's the daughters.

okayy..less talk. probably i shouldn't mind their business. aftarall, im NOT related to dem! and i thanked God for dat.

saw Roy yesterday. yes..the one from prcss. he's second language is Malay, mind you. he was walking with his guyfriends wen suddenly i heard someone calling out for my name.

him: nadiiiiiiiiraaaah!
me: ouhh..hi!
him: maseh kenal tak nie saper?
i smiled. he probably get it. obviously i remember you larh. u were sooo famous back then in sec school.

and soo..i saw alot of people dere too. hello! obviously la, isnt geylang made up of people? danggg!

okay..im goin Arab Street in jus a while. see ya! meanwhile, enjoy my heels!

had tuition just now at 11am. how dreading! i wish i can continue sleeping..ergh!

nvm though. i can alwas catch up with my sleep later in the afternoon. hopefully i'll wake up at 6pm. jus in time to help mom in the kitchen and break my fast. im feeling sooo hungry! darn!

ouuhh..i guess ive yet to post pics of my new hair. im really not use to having short hair. really! i wanna dye it. to make my face look a lil matured and hmm..to make myself cheerful? i guess soo..

from the back view..

from the side view..

and..

im tooo tired to smile. please DUN force me to smile.

thanks Klearcut. let's see..i'll probably come down again for treatment. yess..the $15 voucher u gaf me isn't suppose to be wasted rightt?

im going Geylang again today. dis time around wif my parents. yerp..they promised me to buy me heels plus a handbag. i seriously haf nothing in mind on wad handbag to use dis year. heels? i saw dis elegant black heels with only one strap infront and an outstanding black flower at the sides. sweettt..im gonna get dat!

im in need of money now! im broke. ive to wait for another 2weeks before im officially a richgirl. 2weeks?! freaking late! im afraid tat EDC pants will be out of stock. god! i love it sooo much..

okay den..im too tired to continue.

please spare me all those craps. i wish i haf e tyme to entertain u, but even if i do haf the tyme, i rather spend it on shopping. so, talk to my feet!

i miss u, b..