it has make a comeback after months of disappearance. it took me quite a while to realise that probably, this is what you called 'the blogging world'. when i set up this account to blog, i have only two intentions in mind; one, to update my closest friends about my daily life even without through phone conversation so that they'll know what's going on with my life and two, i want to record my own memories. sure, i won't deny the fact that there are some bloggers out there who see their blog as one way of getting some sort of recognition. worst, some love soaking up attention, but not me.

there's not even a day in a week that i do not come upon hate taggers on other blogger's tagboard. i like the idea of random people finding my blog and reading my entries provided they come out, leave a tag or two and identify themselves. you see, i have a tracker on my site and occasionally i see unfamiliar 'lurkers' and 'unknowns' popping up and somehow it feels a little uncomfortable. however, i do not ask for every unknowns out there to adore me.

it's funny how i get mysterious tagger(s) in a day commenting about whatsnot. hey, that's perfectly fine since not everyone is in a favour of being perfect. but hiding behind such pathetic names are such a shame - if you want my whole lot of bloggers to read your tag, then make sure my whole lot of bloggers know who the taggers are. i don't like guessing games, neither do everyone.

look mysterious tagger(s), don't just sit back and feel relieved about posting such tags and wait patiently for a reply. have you forgotten that now we're in 2006 where everything is possible when computer that matters? what's the whole purpose of having trackers, right? i have only one reason why i prefer to still disclose you - i don't want to shame you like how you enjoy putting shame on others. &like how you wait for a reply, i'll wait for how long you want to play this game and hide behind different funny nicknames you can come up with.

i don't know how by doing such stuffs will benefit you. maybe it's what you called satisfaction.

at least im not as bad as some self-proclaimed narcissist bloggers that i know who adores bragging about herself in every entries &how expensive everything about her life is. i won't argue with the fact that i have a problem with English words, but that does not put me down in posting entries in English. if your ambition is to be an English teacher, then pursue your dreams elsewhere because it's bad thinking how much my blog actually scores you to think so high of yourself - that yours are darn good.

when im frustrated, i love to bang out my frustrations on the keyboard, typing random letters that my fingers landed on and when i need meanings, dictionary.com is my favourite source. but now, typing out random letters and dictionary.com only reminds me of those mysterious taggers i used to have who hide behind such similar names.

because you know why, it pretty well sucks.

it doesn't matter if i sounded pathetic when i shouted/screamed at the window of my aunt's house over at Tampines after Hady was crowned as the Singapore Idol 2006. so Tampines residents, if ever you felt the vibration yesterday, don't look at me cause every of Hady's fans were screaming their hearts out, i bet.

don't ask me how i managed to tutor my cousin with the television switched on plus a dengartakdengar volume. oh wait, funny how we put everything to a pause the moment Taufik took the stage. boy, how dare he stole my moment away! naik giler aku. for the first time in my entire days tutoring my cousin, we never glanced at the clock for every 10minutes, like how we did yesterday simply why? we can't wait to get over with the tuition time &focus on Singapore Idol.

by 9.15pm, we're done &shifted our position all the way to the front of the television. we had a vision that Jonathan will be the next Singapore Idol after how loud his fans cheered for him a minute before the result was announced. if you noticed at that moment of time, the cameraman was focusing his lens ONLY at Jonathan. both of us went: alah, confirm Jonathan laaa..

"Singapore has voted that your Singapore Idol is..Hady Mirza!!"

Hady? eh dol, Hady menang la, Hady siol!!! we thought we were acting like the only retarded monkeys until my aunt came running out of the room screaming at the top of her voice, jumping &jumping. Ya Allah! mengucap oi! i was certain that we were too overjoyed to know what we're supposed to do. i can sooo imagine the crowds at the Indoor Stadium. panas, panas! so auntie, that was worth your $6.00 right? (vote sepuluh kali sae, tak agak-agak eh!)

takpe, itu tak penting. yang penting Hady menang! woohoooo!

&my mum still sticks to her thought that confirm Hady tak tidur malam. ape je! dah menang, ape lagi..tidur nyenyak la jawabnya!

p.s.: my dearest aisha lost her camera USB cable somewhere in the house (cicak makan kot!). so yah, probably there will be no posting of our dinner outing. sorry readers! =)

according to my dictionary, fasting month = clean your room. even before the fasting month, i was told again &again to start clearing my "mess". oh boy, you should see how unexcited my expression was; i was afraid the minute i set my eyes on my study table and those shelves above. you see, i have stacks of books piling on top of one another and assessment books being stacked up, thus messing up my every shelf, drawer and cupboard. the last time i cleared everything, i stumbled upon 6 thick books from Year1, 7 thick books from Year2, 4 thick books from Year3, over 40 piles of magazines, 10 bottles of perfume and something like 6 picture frames, 15 bottles of nail polish, three bears from the loved one, 5 thickthick photo albums, 20 necklaces, 10 pairs of earrings ... you get my drift. &that alone doesn't involve my make-up stuffs.

im a make-up bitch. i grabbed almost everything from different brands; i like to explore. &that have yet to include the number of times i dropped my eyeshadows and blushers, thus breaking them up into small bits and then i will whine, ah! nothing's new. the parents couldn't stop nagging at how much their daughter spent on those beauty stuffs - THAT is for having a daughter, no, three daughters to be exact. i guess i shouldn't continue to the wardrobe of bags, shoes, and what else? clothings! goodness, i am afraid of cleaning up those "mess". and im one who finds it hard to chuck things out, &i bet im not the only soul here.

somehow, the more i clean my stuffs, the more unwanted stuffs start to show up all over again.

i badly want to scream &im trying to force myself NOT to think of how much work we have to do for dad. the downfall of having all wooden stuffs at home? you need to polish them &make sure the shine stays till Hari Raya ends. my house window grills are those made from iron rod, where the designs range up from flowers to the twirlers &that, we have to polish too. things will be different if the parents hire a maid to do the cleaning for us but of course that's not going to happen.

..and to top it all, we have one naughty cat which couldn't stop chasing after the broom when either one of us sweep the floor, purposely lie down on a whole lot of dirts/hairs/tissues due to sweeping the floor &jump all the way up to the top of the refrigerator and basically pose there. then last two days, dad brought home another kitten which is so similar to pussy, only that it's small. &that was the first time the whole family witnessed how much jealousy pussy had and those sampaibulusemuaterdiri growls the moment it saw dad carrying another kitten home. jealous eh pussy?

after much thought, we decided not to take care of it since pussy is very jealous on having another cat in our house. bah!

after much thought, we decided to spend more time together to boost up this little thing we share called relationship - picnic at East Coast! sun lover like me will definitely go for the idea. took quarter of Monday's night to plan swee-swee about yesterday's outing; 11 in the morning, we'll have breakfast first before heading to the beach.

woke up at 10am &called up preetyboy. i could have sworn that i almost jumped out of the bed the moment i realised one fine plan's waiting for the two of us! i was over-excited that i almost forgot to shave my legs, hehs! since i will be soaked in the sea, i left out using mascara and eyeshadow (well, preetyboy thought i looked better without those). headed to school first to pass panata my hard-disk cause according to that makcik, i didn't tell her in advance that im passing school for picnic which i swore i told her yesterday &i think she was busily stuffing her two ears with blast off music to even noticed that my mouth was moving, let alone talking to her. wahpiang!

&thanks to you makcik, preetyboy thought going all the way to Changi for my Nasi Ayam Penyek was a hassle. but it's okay, kau peh pasal anything pun ok go. instead, he rode up to Simpang Bedok for our brunch. after which, we stopped by 7-eleven to purchase all those must-have junk foods. &soon, here we come East Coast!

it was so smart of us to pitch a tent so as to escape from all those perspiration. preetyboy was so sweet - he brought along two magazines to kill our (just in case) boredom; Australian's New Weekly and New Idea &i brought along my Cleo September's Issue. while waiting for the sun to slowly set in, we slacked around in the tent..

..& then preetyboy decided to be my personal cameraman.

oh well, he directed me to pose with the trees so yeah..that explained the drama-mama pictures.

to play fair, we took turns to snap each other's (nice nice one) pictures. oh boy, just look at preetyboy's face, no smile? basically, it was me who forced him to stay put and erm..don't move. hahaa. alahai..

time passed by so fast that it was time to bathe! you should see how excited that boy was because he left me and jumped into the sea first. jahat kan? we had so much fun in the water - splashing each other as though we wore goggles (ew, in the sea?), laughing at how retarded we tried to swim in the sea (which tak menjadi) &doing different kind of stunts which ended up threatening me instead: you kalau taknak pegang i kuat-kuat, i lepaskan you eh! and i replied: ehwah budak ni, dia yang sungguh-sungguh nak angkat orang, aku pulak yang kene.

since the boyfriend needed some time with the sand, we played with the sand. okay, that sentence turned out pretty irritating but anyway, i came up with this childish idea of communicating with each other through carving words in the sand. yeah, the boyfriend laughed at my idea while snapping my pictures &after that, he purposely broke my short-length branch. grr.

okay, so this boy was so obsessed with the sand but b, you don't have to show the pervert side of you right? hahaa.

if you could see what he was trying to show here, then i think that's umm..pretty good! ya..i mean, who don't know what's THAT thing, right? hehs! while waiting for our bodies to dry up, we continued snapping irritating pictures.

amacam? ader tokoh-tokohnya tak? ho ho. then this boyfriend step paham wore my sunglass &read my Cleo magazine.

by 5pm, the stomach couldn't stop grumbling for food so we decided to pack up and have dinner at Lagoon (where two of his friends then came by for sugarcane's drink i think, cause they didn't eat. hahaa). this one again, my boyfriend step bagus fold the tent all by himself but i tell you eh, after i snapped this photo, he straightaway grumbled to me asking for my help. hahaa, tahu takpe!

finally..

i just want to say 'Thank you for the picnic, love!'.

during dinner over at Yassin, the whole family was giving each other crap jokes &bursting out into deepshit laughter. it all started out with mom who tried to test all her 3girls with a religion jokes.

mum: i don't eat, but im not hungry. i don't sleep, but im not sleepy &i work day and night. what is it?
little one: i know, i know! the king! (and confidently added this) you ever gave that joke to dad, and i overheard it. hahaa.
mum: huh? no! that was a different joke.
little one: (feeling paisei) oh different eh?
me: okay okay, amal ibadah? day&night what.
mum: anyhow only.
sis: malaikat!
mum: sooo clever!

pfft! so irritating la okay!

then the little one tried to be funny:

little one: okay, what do you call a small malay boy?
me: (confidently) lelaki kecik ah.
*shakes head*
sis: hmm..melayu kecik?
little one: wrong! okay faster say 'give up'!!
me&sis: give up la!
little one: mini mat!! (and she laughed herself)

both sis and me exchanged glances &we don't know if we're supposed to laugh or what. i mean, mini mat as in minimart without the 'r'? how lame is that? grr.

boy, that was indeed one nice family outing after weeks of not spending a weekday with mom&dad. we've grown up, that's for sure. =)

okay, back to ANTM! (aku da tahu da sape menang thanks to syasya. thanks eh, urgh!)

i never want to hear the little sorry word just to make me feel a whole lot better, which never is. &saying a mere 'you can't expect me to give you attention 24hours' is so equivalent as taking a knife and create a deep hole in my heart. it hurts, it bloody hurt me.

i tried so hard to find something that interest me as much as my interest in you - but i never succeed. &after tonight, im trying to convince myself that im not down with any mental sickness; it's just a ineedyou & youneedme kind of thing. i don't feel appreciated at all, in fact i feel as though im clinging onto something that's unappreciative. you're right, all this while those words have been just a 5minute encouragement &nothing come out from it, eventually.

i guess i should just stop depending on you &for once be independent and mix around well with good girl friends but you know, it's normal for me to wake up every single morning and think of what's ahead for me and you. everything else was at the back of my head &plans were all behind my teeth - only ready to come out after several watery blinks of realization that you're busy working.

somehow, i just want you to see that i always put you on top of everything else. your existence convinced me that im always ready to be busy with our stuffs; and without your presence, i feel like such a loser, a loner and things always didn't come out the right way. can't you ever see that i need you?

my tears never attract attention like how my cough is right now. but i wish you could see that you were the one who's holding the knife instead. i'll give you less attention and pinch myself to realise that it's normal for either one of us to be a few steps ahead of each other when i know that was just a man's creation or...whatever. maybe i should just shut up and sleep.

to a friend, i guess it's true that everybody wants a lovestory &im glad you've found yours.

i lost 1kg for a mere good reason.

i was not myself all day yesterday, although i pretended to be all fine. somehow, we were told by the little one to take good care of pussy while she's away in KL. it was disappointing how mom tried to lie throughout her conversation on the phone with the little one. she couldn't possibly break the news to her that pussy didn't come home the whole day yesterday, right?

so that's the whole point. i was feeling so low when pussy went missing early in the morning till late at night, in fact till early this morning. mom went to search for it up and down in the afternoon and i continued the search late at night, but to no avail. i couldn't even sleep peacefully &even dreamt about cats. i cried in my sleep - that shows how much i love pussy. very much.

sis saw pussy at a void deck across the road when she was walking towards the bustop early in the morning. believe it or not - i went down to carry pussy home without even washing my face, mind you that i was still in my pajamas. it's a miracle how a cat can bring so much affection to us. boy, this cat is love!

anyway, we don't feel like giving pussy a new name cause it's amazing how pussy can react fast upon hearing it's name. &i think, he's down with flu now.

alright, finally here's the outdated pictures of us in East Coast on Saturday night. thanks love!

i feel like squeezing him!

hello love!

&that's it - goodnight y'all!