dis year pasir ris crest's prom night has dancefloor. dancefloor. dancefloor. dancefloor. that is enough to say it's totally unfair! grr.

and it's fun to see their pictures. i mean it's everywhere. from friendster to blog to multiply. double wow! looking through their pictures, can u believe it that im the one who's excited? haha. crazy u must say, but i really am excited. tak tipu nie. dunno for what reasons.

moving on..

school started at 8.30am today. well, it was supposed to start at 8am but last week, we insisted on coming at 9am and sir insisted that we should come at 8am instead. so to be fair for both parties, we finally decided that lesson should start at 8.30am. how lame!

even so, i woke up late. took the cab with preetyboy to school. it's on him today. did i say thank you to you? i think i did. nvm, in case i did not, let me say it here. thank you b.

preetyboy's feeling sick today. with all the flu and headache. i gave him 2panadols and kept reminding him to take the pills after taking his breakfast. sorry for being the irritating baby, i was just showing my care. no harm. haha. he still has to work today. i really do pity you darling..make sure you have plenty of rest later okay?

preetyboy said this to me while we were in the bus.
"i love the way u treat me now. it's nice to feel being loved."

haha. u sounded too formal b. anyway, i do love you.

this is the sweetest part of me. i sent him to work just now. sweet right? i know. i dunnoe why but lately, i feel really worried for him when he's at work. maybe after getting to know that that someone works there too.

wireless quiz was pretty okay. lucky me it wasn't really that tough or i'll be dead. and why in the world did sir remember my name? i was packing my bag at the end of the lesson when he suddenly called my name and asked if there's any doubts that i would like to clarify. and i looked at him, shaking my head. seconds later, i asked syasya if he really called out my name just now. and she nodded. that means, he remembers my name. damn it! im having another terence here.

school's at 8am tomorrow. sociology. darn! i really need my sleep.

im thinking of changing my hp to that red Panasonic VS6. let's see. if i were to trade in my nokia hp now, it will be around 100bucks or more. i jus need to persuade dad that my nokia hp is killing me. well, actually not. i wont die for telling a tiny lie right? haha.

i saw the Forever21 tee. don't really like the cloth though. too thin. but im still thinking, should i get it online? you should ask syasya how many times i visit F21 website. too often. and im still dying for the denim skirt that i saw. too bad my size was out of stock. stupid. adeq suggested that i should lose some weight in order to get that skirt. haha, not funny. nvm, probably i'll come back next week. hopefully the stock has arrived.

talking about my lil sis, omg, she can never stop calling me when im in the middle of having either a tutorial, lab or lecture. no. she's not out to pester me but kept asking me what time i'll be back, cos she's missing me and needs me at home. aww..so sweet lor. and i even hogged on the phone with her for 33mins just now. it's funny if u were to think back.

okay okay. now let's try to read these dialogues and see for urself if the two words highlighted sounded the same.

Dialogue1:
"niari i nak gie jemputan."
"huh? nak gie interview ikan?"

Dialogue2:
"rambut dia macam alleycat."
"a'ah. dia bawa jacket."

Dialogue3:
"i kat 7-11 nie. u katne?"
"i kat S-11 la nie. maner u? tak nampak pun?"
"i kat depan 7-11 nie."
"yelah. i pun kat depan S-11 la nie."

Dialogue4:
"nie mama beli otak-otak."
"huh? tak masak?"

Dialogue5:
"nak beli meja computer?"
"buat aper nak beli katil hospital?"

dangggg!
funny shit but it really happened.

yes..i do get alot of 'alah' from people wen they get to noe that ive stopped blogging. see..eventhough my english sucks, people still do want more of me. get wad i mean?

remember that i told you i still love my farhan? and i even swear about it? right. that's so true. i love him very much that i know i cannot live without him. the same goes to him. no matter how many times he wanted to leave me or vice versa, we will always come back to each other and apologise. BUT i shouldn't take that as an advantage. who noes if one day, heaven is really not on our side? choy!

often, wen he said he cant stand me and wanted to leave me so that i can be more happy, i will always say wadever or give him this wadever attitude cos i know, with no doubt, he didn't mean it. but somehow, that day when everything's in a mess, i feel as though i AM goin to lose him if i dun do anything. somehow i feel that i will be alone if i just sit down and do nothing. u cant imagine how afraid i am. too afraid. losing him is like losing part of my life. i cant bear the pain. i really cant.

now u know how much i love him? yes i do make stupid mistakes in my life, but i never want to repeat it. i will and promise to be the best girl in his heart. this i promise you.

i even make a story about us.

one day..

mum said if i choose to be with him, then i should give in more and tolerate him. she reminded me that giving in doesn't mean u lose. it means u have patience. she is absolutely right. probably those who's in love will understand what im tryna say here.

let's get moving..

i stayed home on friday. ergh..i noe, friday was supposed to be a dating day or gurlfrens day. but i wasn't in the mood for anything, so i rather stay at home and stare at my adeq's nose. helped out mom in the kitchen because Temasek Poly was having Gemilang at 7pm and mom was asked to cook for them. tiring u noe. duit peh pasal, aku sanggup tolong. haha..dun tell me ure not like me.

and on Saturday, i went for a mini-shopping with adeq. we hit the town. yay! i wore my sunnies. so chic! i bot a bronze belt to match with my bronze sandal, and two tees. brown polka dot and a black green top. i love the polka dot, so cute! was supposed to buy a green and white stripes tee to match with fahn's, but i cant help myself. im so in love with the polka dots. it's like love at first sight. u noe u noe. sorry baby..next time okay?

settled at Bugis Cafe for our dinner. i ate their Aglio Olio set and adeq ate their Bolognese set. no fair! her's sooo much delicious than mine. ordered their Garlic Bread and their Double Chocolate cookies for our side dishes. and ya..their soup of the day was superb. corn soup. ouh well, but i still think mushroom soup is nicer. nvm.

reached home jus in time to watch Muzika Extravaganza2. ew! never feel so boring before. i mean, the show was so dull and boring. minus the fact that Azmir and Khairul were hot. their performance i mean. but their mic sucks! right? let's wait for the TAA show. im gonna decide.

and today, i went to syasya's sister's wedding at Chai Chee. i had to wear my orange kurung becos fahn wore his brown shirt. so smart la him. im impressed. haha..we're like a married couple. mum tinks so too. i'll take that as a compliment.

her sis was so pretty. then i started to imagine how's my wedding gonna be. we were supposed to give our seats to someone else afta eating, but instead, we sat and planned about our marriage. okay, u can say it's not a planning thing, erm..more to an imaginary thing? yes. haha..

deal. a black with pink words for our invitation card/wedding card. u wait okay?
*wink*

damn it! im having my Wireless quiz tomorrow and ive yet to study it. we're already at Topic3 but i swear im still lost. i dunnoe a single thing about that subject. im dead. wad do u think? shit!

gotta study now.

okay, im lying. probably later. and assignments are piling up. double shit.

till then, i love my farhan.

haha..okay, be serious. till then, im out.

i know, if i were to go home, things will just be worst. i dunwan to end up with two swollen eyes. so i forced syasya to accompany me to City Link. i want to breathe in the fresh air, i want to shop till im satisfied, i want to forget every sadness. everything.

unfortunately, the rain made me feel halfhearted. so i told syasya, im in no mood to go City Link. i rather sit down and stuff myself with foods.

settled for Sakae Sushi. nothing seems to be so interesting today. i only ate three plates of sushi and that's it, im so not in the mood to eat any longer. paid for it and headed MNG.

yes i do laugh, i do smile and i do make silly jokes. but behind all those smiles, my heart was still crying.

what's the point of heading home when i don't feel like going home? so i took a bus to yishun. don't ask me why. the long journey somehow managed to let me reflect back on all the things that ive done to deserve this. those tears are enough to tell me that i do miss him. and i fall asleep in the bus.

i was screened by two policemen today. what the fuck?! do i look like some kind of minah who enjoys making trouble outside? whatever. im so use to it anyway.

i painted my nails purify pink jus to carve a smile on my face and feel satisfied. i wish he was there to scold me and repeat the same old line again.

somehow, right now, even that sentence can tell me that he cares about me.

i AM feeling so emotional. im having random thoughts. got a problem?!

im still waiting for your call though.

everyone thinks i looked thinner. really?! i suppose.

he deserves better and most importantly, he's not to blame. either he's being brainwashed or he's out for revenge. either way, i will not leave you. and i will repeat it again, i will not leave you. do you get that?

you need some time to think and be alone. i can give you that. but i cant stand the fact that you're always getting back at me because of her words. i mean, ask urself. what's her motive? tryna rub more salts to the wound? we are okay before you told me that she called you. i was blardie pissed off. if she wants our relationship to last, she should just ignore everything and pretend she didn't know anything since it didn't bother her either way. am i not right?!

whether you are okay or not, im the one who's taking care of you. not her. and yes, if her bf wanna get a job or find a supplier for his bike, why cant he just call you instead of her? im fine with it if you tell me that you don't know her bf. but in this case, he's your friend. am i wrong to feel this way?!

yes. i have no right to interfere in who you wanna be friends with. i have lotsa guy friends too. i admit. but have you ever spare a thought of what im thinking? never. the more she's getting closer to you, the more im going to do things you don't like.

there's more that pissed me off. but i rather save my breathe. u are so right. im noone to say that im hurt cos ive hurt you, double. but i still do have feelings and emotions. just like any other girls.

yes gerl, i don't think it's necessary for us to talk. there's no point. things already happen n i don't blame anyone.

i still remember what fahn used to remind me. never blame others for everything cos i have only myself to blame. yes hunnie, you are still in my heart no matter how long ure going to ignore me.

i don't need any comments for this entry. im just letting it all out, whether you like it or not.

my weekdays were all so pack. been goin out too much lately. shoot me.

and of all things, i forget to blog about my raya outing wif the family on sun. and the pictures are still in my digicam, waiting to be posted here. ergh.

so here we go..

dey said i simply cant get enuf of the flash. and try my very best to be the next perfectionist. well, almost trying so hard to be perfect. haha..eventhough i noe i can neva be. let's leave that alone.

if ure wondering, half of the pics above were taken by abg hisyam. yes..imagine a guy taking photos for the gerls who simply cant get pose properly. wad a shame!

unfortunately, last Friday's plan kinda cocked up. but wadeva it is, get well soon gurlfren ailah. heed the doctor's advice, and please drink plenty of water n don't stand too long. even a teacher needs a break okay..ure not some robot who can skip drinking water n stand for the lamest time. get it?!

well, im just tryna be fierce so dat u'll listen to me..haha! i lup u.

it started off wif only me, ilah n afiq. the purple couple reached earlier than i am. nothing's new wen comes to being punctual. haha..

headed to fahn's house first. u guys can neva imagine how troublesome to get to his house. i mean, the distance u nid to walk from the bustop to Compass Green. haish..i wish dere's a shuttle bus. i kept groaning in pain because of my heels. i cant walk straight in my heels anymore if im in it for more than 20mins of walking. beats me.

Unbelievable. nassier reached there earlier than i am. okay fine. im IMpressed. need more?

ilah thought fahn's cat, nyet, looks like a black Garfield rather than a cat. haha..at that point of time, i tink so too. so furry n fat. and his mom cant stop threatening me with that Garfield. i almost wanted to jump up and down in my kain. i swwwwwear!

enough of bragging.

i know.
SO.NOT.GLAMOUR.

who cares. aftarall noone says you need to be perfect in front of the cameras right? right.

click here to view more. or you can view it from the snapshot section on the right under *Raya wif Friends.

it was overall fun.

i got home at about 11.30pm and i had to be ready by 11am the next day. even up till now, i dun understand why people go jalan raya early in the morning. sigh!

things get a lil outta hand during my Saturday's jalan raya. things like he didn't trust me and things like he expecting TOO much things from me. i am irritated, ofcourse! okay fine, sooooomething like irritated.

i was forced to be home by 10pm because his family wanted to come to my house. yes..u make me think n decide which is more important. u and ur family or my friends. grr..i hate making decisions. no doubt.

i left them and headed home because of you. okay daling?

sunday was with the family again. too booooring!

i was late for school today. so i took the cab instead. even so, i was still late cos i waited so long for my cab. frustrating! let alone the taxi driver, he was testing my patience. aku raser aku lari lagi laju..

and my two fingers are swollen. because i clumsily ironed the two fingers. sakit tau..i cried for just a second.

syasya asked me to accompany her to Century Square cos she wanted to buy this golden box for tata. and we bumped into herrrr..

we had a good laugh.
thank you for the entertainment beb!

sorie to leave all of my readers for so long. i was dyem busy with school stuffs and often came home late from school. and by the time i reached home, im like a zombie. sleepyhead.

i was pathetically shocked to be in e same sociology class with someone. right. and now, im so not looking forward to sociology tutorial anymore. guess i have to say goodbye to terence.

ive tried the Flavours twice. first, i ate their fish n chip. hmm..not dat bad aftarall. and jus now i tried their lasagna and hawaiian pizza. quite expensive though. was eating wen dis two lady came to us and sat next to me. i was surprised, ofcourse. she was selling this Mirage perfume for $40 wen it's actual price is $129. mus be kidding, i noe. according to the salesgirl, only two sprays can last you up to 6hours. liar. it was afta the 15minutes persuasion dat we said it's okay and thank you.

why? bcos all departmental stores are selling this Mirage perfume for $40 too. and i still have my MNG jeans perfume.

Technopreneurship jus now was fuckingly bored. we were told to watch this video which lasted for 25minutes. and it was freaking bored. i sat at the second row and i tout i was the only one who was falling asleep. but wen i turned around, the people sitting 3rows behind me were all sleeping with their heads on the table. baik arh! so i tout, it wasn't a sin to sleep too. and i slept. haha..

skipped my sociology lecture just now. i cant stand the thought of attending lecture at 6pm. so we went to chill at starbucks. rhumba frap and cheese braid for me. yay! we got the sofa too. double yay!

fahn kinda hinted me couple of times to buy the December issue of CLEO magazine bcos there's something interesting to read about. u noe, i noe. *wink* so i bought it and till now, ive yet to read it.

ive no school tomorrow. so we planned to go jalan raya again. hopefully all the 8 invited people can make it. then it'll be fun.

oh, now i know something dumb about syasya. she's afraid of my wet hands wen everytime i wash my hands. bcos i love wiping my wet hands on her jeans and she will run around the toilet, kononnyer boleh escape la. or worst, she will scream out so loud that i think the people outside the toilet can also hear her screams.

we were forced to separate for our EDD project. no choice. that was a sad thing okay, bcos we never part since we were in year1. cheer up okay syasya, it's only EDD. think positive!

i bought a black n white sunglass yesterday. fahn tout it looks cute n chic on me. furthermore, i'll be needing it next month. girlfriends, dun forget our plan to crash Pahlawan Beach. and hopefully by early next year, i can tumpang fahn's ktm. imagine me with the helmet and the sunglass..riding on his ktm with him. sronok!

in case you are wondering, i went to town with fahn, nassier and syasya yesterday. we settled for Nana Thai Restaurant but the food there really pissed us off. and i ended up with a stomachache. and bcos of that, i told nassier i couldn't make it to the airport. he wanted badly to chill at the airport for dunno wad reasons. so we headed home.

what a day! a day wen i thought the brown bag looked so nice on me but it's too big for school. and de day wen i didn't manage to find myself a bag. grr..! it freaked the hell outta me!

i need a light green top to match it with fahn's stripes green polo. and orange too.

at this point of time, i think i have to make a change to my blog.

gawd! im so freaking tired and im having blister. thanks to my heels.

the plan yesterday kinda cocked up at the very last minute. yess..things like, the guys back out bcos they feel left out, and hasanah couldn't make it bcos her babi(according to her) stepfather refuse to let her go Spore. and tat left us with only three people. me, rabia n ilah.

i mean, three people go jalan raya? like badut sae..

so at the very last minit (again), farhan and afiq decided to follow us. good! atleast five person are much betta, u think so too?

settled. there's me, fahn, ilah, afiq and rabia.

these are the houses that we crashed yesterday. ilah, nassier, khairul, afiq, yazmil, shabana, dirah and farhan abu baker. thanks alot u all for making our raya outing complete.

here you go..

this was in the back seat of the cab.

sorie rabia, u sat in front, so..paham-paham je la eh..

did i tell u tat i alwas envy shab's house? right. here's each of us in her cozy pinky room. i like..

we're too dramatic right?

but now i envy her bro's yellow car with plate SFZ! i mean, no license yet but already has a car?!

haha..that was a lame one dirah. i noe.

overall, we had fun!

cant wait for next Friday. tat will be me, fahn, rabia, man(maybe), wak, ailah, nassier, ilah n afiq. fun-ness!

okay, im still tired. will be goin out later again..

now i cant wait to go shopping with syasya. i mite be highlighting my hair on wed. accompany me first okay syasya!

ouh, talking about her, i tink she's in a satisfying mood. yeah..afterall those searching. and finally! u noe i noe arh..haha!

for the first time, i felt ashamed again after years of not feeling ashamed.

i pushed open the door and enter. followed by syasya and another two girls. and i can even smile at the teacher, knowing that i was already 5mins late. first thought, why is the lab seems so occupied??

i stopped and looked at syasya.

and i walked out of the lab, feeling damn paisei. mestila, member masuk class confident, cukup time, salah class.

the lab room was supposed to be 88/1. not 88. right. i dun trust syasya n her timetable ever again! haha..

try to picture this. their lab started at 8am, and they were in the middle of doing their lab wen suddenly four girls came in at 9.05am, claiming that they're having lab in that room too. and obviously, not knowing that they're in the wrong class. imagine the looks every student gave us, followed by laughter. malu beb!

reached home at 8.30pm.

i wonder why that girl kept staring at me wheneva we bumped into each other anywhere. why that cold look sia?! haf i eva offend u in any ways? so wad if ure an ex coralian and im an ex prcsian. does dat make us an enemy? yes, maybe u used to hate me but that's ur fucking problem la. i haf nothing against u. nothing.

atleast if u dun wanna smile then dun give me that stare la. jus ignore.

ergh..so sombong!

i bought a new toothbrush to replace the old one. i dunno, my gums hurt too much. berdenyut-denyut.

and i tink the growth rate of my pimple is much faster than the growth rate of my hairs. ew! no girls love to have pimples. i skipped toner for two days and dis is wad i get. so sensitive. ouhno, in case ure wondering, im not the type who go for facial, bcos i dun trust their products. my skin might be sensitive, u neva know right? so to play save, i stay away from facial.

two assignments in my way at the moment. they'll be due in 3weeks time. ergh!

hidayat called me at 8.45pm to visit my house for raya. i was bathing wen he called. he came with four of his otha fwends.

there u go..

yay! im not schooling tomorrow. cant wait to go jalan-jalan raya. so fun! i should jus stick to red. dun forget my digital camera. dyem important!

wadelse?

do you think i can get away with applying an LOA for my Basic Theory Driving Test? well, hopefully..give me some face please.

the design girls saw my new pair of bronze sandal and they commented. nice right? thank you! but i tink syasya's more bling bling. gold..

before that, here's some pics taken yesterday..a lil crazy i must say.

sociology just now was i-dunno-know. perhaps, it's just my luck that i got the same psychology sir again. worst, he still do remember my name! i came to class at 8.25am, and was asked to answer his question 2mins afta landing my butt on the chair.

haha..please laugh at me. i was like a fool! my brain has yet to function properly okay..give me some time and im sure i can give a betta answer than that.

i tink i haf a new bad habit. i keep falling asleep or feel so sleepy during lectures. kill me. give me 15mins and for the next min, u'll see me with my eyes closed. syasya kept pushing me wheneva i fall asleep in lecture. the lecturers were dead bored i tell you. so monotone! how do you expect me to pay attention? and they merely just read off from the lecture notes. hello! even i can do that by myself. grrr..

so just now, i skipped a lecture. tell me, who will ever want to go lecture at 1pm?! sickening. so, instead of an hour break, we extended it to a 2hrs break. sounds betta right?

we tried the new food court at IT school. yea..air-conditioned. BUT it was damn pack-o! it took us 15mins to find a table. and just as we were about to walk out of the food court, we saw an empty table. lucky us! itupun the two Chinese guys were squeezing at us. sharing table. nvm, rabia's friends peh pasal..haha!

later, fahn came and joined us. so sweeeet.

sit around at breadboard, enjoying the peacefulness and the ouhsonice wind. i almost fell asleep again. luckily fahn was there to atleast entertain me and kip those eyes of mine awake. bah!

bot some gummies for lecture. jus in case i'll fall asleep again. but it didn't work out though.

was busily listening to my mp3 in the lecture wen the batteries went flat on me. stupid domdom! i was about to entertain myself with akon's belly dancer okay..dyem it! it's okay, bcos afta dat, i fall asleep again. haha..sleepyhead la dirah!

i was really enjoying my sleep in the lecture hall with the dim lights and aircon wen syasya hit me. accidentally? hmm..i tout it was on purpose becos she was jealous dat im having my peaceful sleep. hehe..

lab time. again, i fall asleep. wad's so wrong with me?!

cant blame me though. sir was mumbling to himself and god noes wad he was saying. i tried so hard to listen, but end up, i fall asleep.

stopped by Popular to get myself a glue stick and a pink photo album. den i was craving for delifrance's ham and cheese. yum!

thanks baby for accompanying me.

ouh, did i tell u? he never fail to send me back home every single day afta school. okay, dat was a white lie. it's been only two days since school reopen. haha..im so touched lor.

nowadays, i haf a passion for bronze and gold stuffs. so chic!

right. i wanna settle my photo album now. cant wait.

everybody attacked my house just now. one afta one family. sucha headache.

mum cooked fried bee hoon and luckily, it's enuf for everyone. phew!

first family that came was ciko's family. they're in green. as usual, i kept fighting with his younger brother, chirul. he irritates me alot, or sumtymes, it's the otha way round. wadeva it is, both are irritating. me and him. haha..fair eh boy!

next family was from my mother's side. very happening. especially my uncle. buat gelak tak agak-agak. and thanks to him, im having cough right now for laughing too much!

den my step uncle and family. sirahjudin was sooo cute! ohmygod, forgive me because i cant stop pinching his cheeks.so tembam! i lose to him..really!

another family was my sungguh-cool uncle and auntie. yes..i love them!

the last one was saiful's family. but he didn't come though.

okelah, the kiddies weren't that bad just now. atleast they noe how to take care of themselves and not jump on my bed. thank u!

right now, im sooo beat.

ouh, to all tpsian out there, especially the engineers, listen carefully. i haf NO school on every Friday. yay!

wad??

u name it..im all yours!

and i think friendster is getting a lil stupid. dumb too. figure it urself.

okay mr policeman, a smiley face of me will be put up soon. he dun like to see a sad dirah. haha..spare me for calling u mr policeman okay? like ive said, it's sooo cool to haf a policeman as my abang sedara. bcos if i were to make a stupid or silly mistake, or maybe even to the stage of committing a crime, i'll find you to help me out. cool.

goodnight and enjoy ur sleep!

let's start off with the first day of raya, shall we?

im in red this year with adeq. hot! as usual, before we went out, we haf to seek forgiveness first. right. and this year, let me tell you one pathetic lil secret. i cried even before i seek forgiveness from dad and momma. haha..well, maybe bcos dis year alone, ive done alot and alot and alot of sins.
*sigh*

we followed according to the eldest. so mom first, den sis, den me and den adeq. and yes, for the first time in adeq's entire life, she cried when seeking forgiveness! dat is something to be laughed at bcos she will never fail to laugh every year of raya wen seeking forgiveness. she even asked me why must we cry that bad. so this year, i wonder wonder why u cry..haha!

i'll show you only my part. dun laugh!

dad was really out of words wen it's my turn. he cried too. okay daddy, im really really sorry for giving you alot of problems. i mean it. and inshaallah, i'll try to be a good and filial daughter in years to cum. hopefully. amin.

aaaa! i jus couldn't stop laughing wen i seek forgiveness from sis. crap! i talked crap okay..half of the tyme, i was goin "kak, adeq minta maaf lau adeq ader banyak sakitkan hati akak. Adeq slalu tengking pat akak, tapikan kadang2, i did that bcos u deserve it la. and..hmm, stop irritate me, so that i wun haf to scold u every now and den. and erm..lalalalala. tu je la."

how does dat sound? freaky? i tink so too. the 'lalalala' part was said bcos i bet sis couldn't hear wad i was mumbling about. so to make things faster, i said those. mean!

we can still laugh though.

head off to grandmere's house beside mum. errr..i prefer the grandmere bside dad though. blergh! more happening!

at 5pm, we headed to Jalan Tenaga. best! dad's mom power giler..everybody gathered there and it was so chaotic! havoc! wen cousins meet cousins mah..tkan nak stare at each other's nose je kan.

wad else? ouh, we did our own business, collection-haunting la!

right. im still a student. wad makes u tink i can do the collection? peeee-dah!

crashed otha houses too.

overall, it was superbly fun. jus check out the pics, i dun wan to do a story telling here.

got home at 2am. and i went flat on bed.

and yest, we went out again at 12.30pm. grrr..i had only 5hours of sleep okay!

we crashed those houses beside mum's. okay..not that boring aftarall.

the last house was the best! bcos the whole block was facing a blackout session for 1 freaking hour or more i guess. so we merely came to her house, wif only candles around and no fan! i was sweating like nobody's business. bcos there's no electricity!

and for the first time in my entire life, i painted my nails orange this year. haha..orange of all colours! madness.

im sooo beat.

haf fun viewing the pictures. click 'Raya Crash 2005' at the snapshot part.

goodnite!

ouch! my legs are hurting. im tired from all those walking exercise. right. let me tell you..

i went out at around 8pm to haunt for my make up stuff. nowhere far. tampines will do. went there with adeq.

in total, i spent around 50bucks on those makeup. that include sharing the price with adeq. tat means, out makeup reached to atleast 100bucks! bingo! orang kaya baru larh..

let's see wad do we bought.

Loreal compact powder, Silkygirl Lash Mascara, two Missha eyeshadow - frost white and golden brown, Missha black liquid eyeliner and i bot myself a nude colour nail polish. im ready for raya..yipee!

i stopped by esprit. and saw this black top. goodness! i cant breathe. so nice..40bucks. affordable though. i wanted to gif it a try but the fitting rooms seem like a shower place to me. i wonder if they're trying out the outfits or scrubbing their bodies. i was pissed off, so i decided to try it next time.

dad came and fetched us. crashed geylang for fun. gosh! it's Tuesday and dere are lotsa people?! im not kidding.

as usual, i bot kropok lekur and chrysanthemum tea. enuf to indulge me. haha..walked around aimlessly..until i remembered that i wamted to buy this bronze pair of sandal. check it out.

i wanted so much to wear it to school. yes..those sir and mdm keep pestering me, reminding me zillion times to wear covered shoe during lab lesson. pathetic i mus say.

wad do u tink? is that pair of sandal acceptable? most probably. haha..we'll see. u'll neva know unless u try ur luck right? cos i hate wearing covered shoes, somehow it will leave my feet with blisters.

i tink im getting sooo boncit. no doubt.

since im in the mood to post pics, might as well i post this pic.

looks familiar?

yes..that's the portion of the house dat was revamped by yours truly and dad. no more orangey and brown wall. welcome back shades of grey! haha..im saying dat for the sake of dad. i personally tink that grey and white colours r too dull. eww!

anyway, wad do you think? nicer or buruk-er?

my house is 60% ready for raya. we're left with only changing the cushion cloths, putting up the curtains and ermm..a lil bit of vacuuming here and dere. i cant wait la, can u?

well, dats it my lovely peeps. 10 more minutes to the first season of The Oc. im not goin to miss it!

kiss u peeps goodnite!
*muacks*

yes, nothing else but me.

at dis point of time, i think things are getting a lil bit fine. hit it off with my dad first. my first thought wen he came home from work was 'im sooo dead. he gonna bashed me up, i think.' but i was so wrong. he sat at the dining table and started eating, with me. he joked around with us and started giving each of us an indian name bcos deepavali is just tomorrow.

i laughed along. i smiled. but noone knows how scared im feeling.

afta eating, he sat on the couch n looked at me.

daddy, dat's a nice way to start off a conversation with me. somehow, i feel much betta n i feel safe talking to my dad. he is, indeed, an open-minded daddy. someone who you can depend on wen ure down or wen u need some security.

momma? so wad if she keeps lecturing me. she's still the best mom. every problem that im facing, i turned to her.

again, dat sentence somehow cheer me up.

according to dad, im a big girl now. i should learn to be more independent and start making decisions on my own. right. and i should learn to mix around with the right kinda friends.

blonde hair? red hair? half black half blonde hair? yellow hair? pink hair? blue hair?

aftarall they are my friends.

u diss dem, isn't my problem. as simple as that.

true?

eva heard of him with his single hit 'Minah Tudung'? u gotta listen to it. sungguh power n cool. but it's kinda minah song. so to those anti-minah, please excuse us. haha..

click here to navigate from his blog.

hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret. hate and regret.

wad else?

i dun feel like living anymore. i nid my painkillers. enough to end everything even for 10mins.

im not leading my own life rite now. someone gonna decide on my future n life, and that someone is my parents. ive lost the trust they gaf me. im sucha letdown to this family. i kept giving them problems afta problems.

i hate the cold shoulder dad is giving me n i hate the tone mum's using on me.

ive let my gerls down. they should be disappointed in me.

ive no right to decide, ive no right to talk and ive no right to give advice. i suck at all dat!

all im left with is dis puffy eyes n im disappointed in myself. you might not see the word that was carved on my forehead, only i can see and feel it. it's STUPID.

ive to seek forgiveness from my parents and farhan. if can, i wanna bend at their feet and seek forgiveness.

now i realise, im not strong anymore. and i cant live without farhan's love.

leave me alone