everything is moving at a very slow pace - that i can feel myself whining over stuffs countless of times until it came to a point where i just wish i can fast-forward my life. the people around me haven't been very good too, i don't want to hold grudges against them cause i see no reason why i should but then again, they are not the ones that are making my life better. i don't like the look some people gave me when i walked past by them; be it positive or negative. i can't help thinking that they are discriminating my life, or trying to bold the word 'imperfect' to me.

i don't know if ive been thinking too much or it is true that people are watching me from far. i self-proclaimed that if i don't do anything about it, i will eventually be the one at the loosing end; not them. still, i'll feel rebellious towards my own life. like everyone, i have my own life and i want to bring out the light that has been fading off since god knows when. i want to stop thinking too much cause ive come to a point where it doesn't even help me a bit; instead it's snatching away my sleep. &that's not even close to good.

ive been hearing the word 'perfect' around me. it feels as though it has been circling me since years ago but never once did the word land on my head. &i never want to know the meaning of 'prefect' cause i believe in such thing called karma. one fine day, god will give you everything and on another fine morning, god will snatch everything back from you. no, im not complaining; maybe that's what we called life. but the strength and courage for everything, i couldn't find them.

yesterday i made a point to remember all those people who are so close to me. i tried to picture myself losing contacts with them &i asked myself a very simple question: what is the ONE thing i can remember about every single of my friends if they're out of my life?

i wish i could turn back time and be that 10years old girl who is still pure in every way; who doesn't know yet the true meaning of life; who still thinks that life is still far ahead from her; who writes down almost everything about her daily life &nobody even care to ask, cause all they did was read - not question her life.

i wish..


p.s: &now, we're talking about cats; preetyboy and dirah.