and whenever things like this happen at home, i felt those familiar ugly feeling in my stomach again; how could it have returned so soon? i felt helpless and mean. i don't want to cross over the line and start a family first, no. but seeing at how she handles everything about her personal life, it's going to take forever i swear.

looking back, everything is moving too fast. years ago, i was still fooling around - telling myself every single day that life is still too far for me to fetch. then two years ago, i was this sweet sixteen girl - who thinks that all the best thing in life is on the way. and now that im going to be nineteen, i feel as though everything is going to end; mainly my teenager moments. over the years, i watched the people around me grow up; how it fascinates me seeing couples leading their love life to marriage and have kids. i wonder; will mine be as fascinating as them? i have the confidence and with no doubt, he is my true love.

picture our life - in a year, we will be graduating from TP (inshaallah). the following year, he will serve his NS and i will either be busy with my work or if heaven is on my side, i will be part of the University schools. two years later, we will all be working, trying to earn as much as we could. by the age of 25, we planned to start a family. think, how fast is that?

yup, you might think im someone who is too greedy in life. but no, im trying to picture how my life's going to be in years to come. you know, it's always good to know what's in store for you. but ofcourse, the healthier way is to see the positive things and put aside the negative things. but when the negative things come, all i need is the strength and courage. and that, im not worried of. preetyboy will always be here in my heart.

all the things that we've gone through will be kept as memories; and never will i wash it away from my mind. from the sweetest moments to the ugliest moments. those moments are the ones that keep us going, till now. and ofcourse, the encouragements we get from families, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends. im blessed, thank you.

see what i mean when i said everything is too silent and too fast? they happen without us realising. what about you, dear readers? have you ever do the thinking like i do?

and now, i can't wait to meet preetyboy. seems like he is the most crucial thing in my life. without him, i'll drown.