i never want to hear the little sorry word just to make me feel a whole lot better, which never is. &saying a mere 'you can't expect me to give you attention 24hours' is so equivalent as taking a knife and create a deep hole in my heart. it hurts, it bloody hurt me.

i tried so hard to find something that interest me as much as my interest in you - but i never succeed. &after tonight, im trying to convince myself that im not down with any mental sickness; it's just a ineedyou & youneedme kind of thing. i don't feel appreciated at all, in fact i feel as though im clinging onto something that's unappreciative. you're right, all this while those words have been just a 5minute encouragement &nothing come out from it, eventually.

i guess i should just stop depending on you &for once be independent and mix around well with good girl friends but you know, it's normal for me to wake up every single morning and think of what's ahead for me and you. everything else was at the back of my head &plans were all behind my teeth - only ready to come out after several watery blinks of realization that you're busy working.

somehow, i just want you to see that i always put you on top of everything else. your existence convinced me that im always ready to be busy with our stuffs; and without your presence, i feel like such a loser, a loner and things always didn't come out the right way. can't you ever see that i need you?

my tears never attract attention like how my cough is right now. but i wish you could see that you were the one who's holding the knife instead. i'll give you less attention and pinch myself to realise that it's normal for either one of us to be a few steps ahead of each other when i know that was just a man's creation or...whatever. maybe i should just shut up and sleep.

to a friend, i guess it's true that everybody wants a lovestory &im glad you've found yours.

i lost 1kg for a mere good reason.